If only……. I think we would all be happier.
Today it looks like I’ll have to put in a no contact order to remind me to step back from a friendship. I’m not a fan of complicated situations and I’ve learned that removing yourself from the equation can be a way to make things simpler. As much as I would like to speak my mind, I think it would add more ambiguity to the situation. I’ll stick to my word because I really want to avoid an unpleasant situation. Plus I don’t want to play myself. It’s a necessary thing. It’s a conscious choice.
I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned these past six months is that taking care of others and neglecting yourself makes you fatigued. I’ve let more people go because the relationship is one sided with the other person never initiating anything. It’s not that I don’t care anymore. It’s just that I can’t keep giving without getting anything back. There will always be exceptions but I want to experience some of what I put out into the universe. It’s a place of contentment that’s also bone chillingly lonely at the same time.