I must admit that this week has been one of the hardest that I’ve had in a long long time. I attribute that primarily to the fact that I find myself unable to half-ass anything. I’m either 110% in or totally and completely out. There’s no middle ground in that equation. Through the years I’ve gotten better at working around that and making allowances but every once in a while it catches up to me in the form of a great disappointment. I think that the first week after a disappointment is one of the hardest and that time plays a huge part in the return to homeostasis. I remember when I was super judgmental about alcoholics and people who abuse all types of drugs. My line of work has taught me that people handle things in different ways and almost 90% of the time individuals just don’t want to hurt anymore. That’s one of the reasons that they turn to things that can be constructive or can slowly kill them. I think that it’s human to want to escape pain because you just get tired of hurting. So much depends on how you live with the cards that you have been dealt. It can either be a stepping stone or it can become a mountain that will block your quality of life.

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