Around this time every year I get nostalgic. In a few days I’ll be a year older and I always wonder what I’ve been doing. This year the birthday wish is the same its been for the last decade. I want to wake up next to a significant other and spend the day with them. This has never happened for many reasons. Maybe because distance is always a factor or because this stars have never quite aligned. I start another aspect of my career soon and there are times that I wish my life was shared with someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful but I still think about how things could be. I learned about myself this year. I had to open my mouth and speak up for what I wanted. While the feeling of loneliness is something I’ve become comfortable with, there are times when I feel it more actutely. Just like any other human being. Sometimes knowing what it could be like isn’t comforting because you know what you’re missing. Either way,life goes on.
If I’m being honest, this picture depicts a goal of mine. Living on a beach being semi-retired and enjoying the view. It’s so important to take the time out for the important stuff. Life is short and I think sometimes the way to acknowledge that fact is to have once in a lifetime experiences. I’ll live on a beach one day but I’ll visit until then.
When you ask yourself ,”who does this shit?” in response to a choice you made and there really isn’t a good answer. I’m the type of person who still tends to hope against hope. I like knowing that I’ve done everything humanly possible to make things go my way before I abandon a cause. I don’t like to fail and I find that my life runs smoother if I have very little regrets. I have to let things go sooner. The lesson has been learned but actions need to follow.
A few months ago I had an opportunity that I had never had. I had the chance to spend some time with one of my guy friends that I hadn’t seen in a while. There are a lot of societal expectations when it comes to platonic relationships and how they should be. I for one hate sending mixed messages because it just causes confusion and frustration. My guy friend was a cool person but one thing I appreciated was that when we were together he paid for everything. And I mean everything. It was so refreshing because it was something I had never experienced. There was no awkward grab for the check or some sheepish “I forgot my wallet” excuse. He told me “whatever you want, you get” and he was serious. There weren’t any price limits. No side eyes or frantic calculations to see if he could cover the cost. It was at this time that I vowed if I ever had a significant other I wanted similar treatment. No, I’m not the type of person to go overboard but it’s nice to know that someone has your back and genuinely doesn’t mind doing something to make you happy even if it involves money. I need more of that in my life and I’ll be happy to reciprocate too. Or maybe just incentivize that type of treatment. I’m a believer in positive reinforcement.
Two weeks ago I was on a ferry traveling to Athens, Greece. The weather was perfect and the wind wasn’t too bad. I stood on the deck and watched the waves and the sun reflecting off the water. While I stood there I made some goals related to my professional development and personal life. I knew that I was starting from the bottom since I relocated and I had to get everything in order. This past weekend I set a goal of deciding on an apartment and getting a job. I didn’t know how it would happen. The next day I found an apartment I like and applied for it. I also scheduled a job interview. Soon afterwards, I went to the job interview and found out that I got the apartment. Today I got a job offer for a position in my field. I’m very thankful to have those two goals realized. It’s definitely easier to finance your life with a job and a place to live.
I wanted to post something since my trip is almost over. Going overseas recently was another great experience. While it wasn’t as great as my France trip, this one to Greece was a close second. The food was wonderful and the wine was great. The scenery of the country is breathtaking and going to two of the popular islands was definitely one of the highlights. I made some new friends and enjoyed the perfect weather. The trip was a success and reminded me of the importance of having new experiences and being willing to step out one’s comfort zone.