I. Hate.This. Shit. Yes, I understand that it’s imperative for me and my health to live healthier and basically do better. However, it’s hard developing new habits and saying no to these carb cravings. I’ve been pretty consistent in working out at least 3 times a week. I was doing mornings but lately I’ve slept through my alarms so this week I’ve been working out at the gym during lunch time. I was putting in work today with a weighted ball and wondered how much easier it would be to just accept myself as fat? I’d keep buying large clothes and give a shrug of indifference to those who said anything about me letting myself go. It would just be easier instead of fighting through muscles that scream in protest to being used. Sweating though my scalp and ruining my hair that I worked hard on. But I have to keep going. Despite not “feeling” like it. I think that hardest thing about this is that it’s ALL mental. Yeah, the soreness isn’t fun but at the end of the day it’s all about mindset. I joked to myself today (yes, I do that) that I had to get my work out in because I spent most of my morning jumping to conclusions. I feel like exercise is a necessary evil and it’s still not my favorite thing. But I’m going to keep at it.

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