I realize that I post on here a lot about being single. While it’s not the most important thing in my life, lately I’ve been craving having an intimate connection with another human being. I’m such an all or nothing person and it absolutely sucks to know that there isn’t anyone who has my back. I really wasn’t designed to be alone. I can be self sufficient and I can make my own decisions but I want to do it with an “us” in mind instead of the usual “I”. It’s just never worked out for me and it’s been the emotional equivalent of being stabbed to death over and over again until you’re just tired of trying. Tired of being open, and tired of just being a “good” person looking for another good person to be with long term. Tired of fighting for what I want and always consistently losing without a win to break up the monotony. But I’ll live. It just sucks sometimes.