It’s so frustrating when I meet someone who seems cool and there is absolutely no follow up on their part. I usually like to reach out at least once but I don’t want to feel like I’m chasing someone down and waiting for them to hang out with me. I just wish people were more consistent and straight forward about what they want. Don’t tell me that I seem perfect and then never speak to me again. It’s annoying.
I don’t know why but I like going to Vegas. It’s even better to go when you’re not broke. I’ve found that I really like slot machines but I also enjoy the lights and good food. One of my plans is to go back and experience a show that features an artist that I like. Recently I had a 3 hour layover in the airport and decided to play one of the many slot machines. I put a $20 bill in it and started playing. I was on a loosing streak until I went down to about $3 and then.. I hit the jackpot and “won” $52 bucks. It was so exhilarating. I got my money back with some interest and that’s why gambling is so freaking addictive. You have to know when to walk away. And while I immediately cashed out and went to find my gate, I was tempted to play some more. All that being said, I’m going to Vegas again at some point.
For the last few months I’ve been living in a lot of places. I’m in a new part of the country that has one of the most expensive housing rates and it’s been interesting. I recently did the math and calculated that I’m spending about 2 grand a month for housing. And this isn’t for an apartment, it’s for a room and bathroom in someone’s house. It’s been eye opening packing up all my earthly belongings and moving to a new place every two weeks. It’s absolutely exhausting. I’ve stayed at several places I’ve liked and others that I wasn’t crazy about. There have been some without any heat or AC and some that have not had hot water. It’s a new experience every time. I never thought that I’d miss the luxury of having a kitchen or a place where I could have friends over and chill. I kinds miss being settled but I want to be settled with someone. That’s just not a possibility right now. I kinda wish I had a home. Or someone to call home.
Lately I’ve been in this weird mode of quiet desperation to get my life together. I don’t know why but there are so many other things that I want to do besides what I’m doing now. Maybe it’s the lack of air conditioning, heat, and hot water in the place that I’m staying right now, but I just know that I need to do better. I’m working on things related to professional development and I’m in training for a new job and I’m trying to survive with these one day off weekends where I am just too tired to get anything done. I’ve always been the person to push through and while I wish I did have a significant other, the likelihood of that seems to be decreasing. But I’m still trying to keep an open mind. Here’s to new directions, decisions, careers, and traveling.