The Un-edited Truth of Di


May 2017

It’s frustrating 

It’s so frustrating when I meet someone who seems cool and there is absolutely no follow up on their part. I usually like to reach out at least once but I don’t want to feel like I’m chasing someone down and waiting for them to hang out with me. I just wish people were more consistent and straight forward about what they want. Don’t tell me that I seem perfect and then never speak to me again. It’s annoying. 


Pictures worth a thousand words 

I don’t know why but I like going to Vegas. It’s even better to go when you’re not broke. I’ve found that I really like slot machines but I also enjoy the lights and good food. One of my plans is to go back and experience a show that features an artist that I like. Recently I had a 3 hour layover in the airport and decided to play one of the many slot machines. I put a $20 bill in it and started playing. I was on a loosing streak until I went down to about $3 and then.. I hit the jackpot and “won” $52 bucks. It was so exhilarating. I got my money back with some interest and that’s why gambling is so freaking addictive. You have to know when to walk away. And while I immediately cashed out and went to find my gate, I was tempted to play some more. All that being said, I’m going to Vegas again at some point. 

Status right now

For the last few months I’ve been living in a lot of places. I’m in a new part of the country that has one of the most expensive housing rates and it’s been interesting. I recently did the math and calculated that I’m spending about 2 grand a month for housing. And this isn’t for an apartment, it’s for a room and bathroom in someone’s house. It’s been eye opening packing up all my earthly belongings and moving to a new place every two weeks. It’s absolutely exhausting. I’ve stayed at several places I’ve liked and others that I wasn’t crazy about. There have been some without any heat or AC and some that have not had hot water. It’s a new experience every time. I never thought that I’d miss the luxury of having a kitchen or a place where I could have friends over and chill. I kinds miss being settled but I want to be settled with someone. That’s just not a possibility right now. I kinda wish I had a home. Or someone to call home.

Crazy so far 

My life has been so crazy lately. Taking on a second job and completing trainings in addition to my regular job has been exhausting. However this weekend and yesterday I’ve had the chance to confirm that there are some good guys still out there and I happen to know them. It’s refreshing to know that some people have the characteristics that I want in a significant other. Despite all the craziness, it was nice to just “be” for a bit and enjoy good conversations. I’m still figuring out my next steps and what I’m doing next but I’ll be ok. 

The life I live

Lately I’ve been in this weird mode of quiet desperation to get my life together. I don’t know why but there are so many other things that I want to do besides what I’m doing now. Maybe it’s the lack of air conditioning, heat, and hot water in the place that I’m staying right now, but I just know that I need to do better. I’m working on things related to professional development and I’m in training for a new job and I’m trying to survive with these one day off weekends where I am just too tired to get anything done. I’ve always been the person to push through and while I wish I did have a significant other, the likelihood of that seems to be decreasing. But I’m still trying to keep an open mind. Here’s to new directions, decisions, careers, and traveling.

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